The Gone Days

When I was thinking of leaving this place, I knew that I would miss these places dearly, but I did not know at that time that it would mentally break my spirit too... this place had become my home for 5 years. 

When I came to Trashi Yangtse for the first time,I had mixed feelings. I was excited at the same time worried... it was a magical experience for me. That time I came with my other dear friends, so we did not feel lonely on the journey.  

Everything was new beginning to me, staying alone to becoming adult and a responsible person. It was the phase where I was entering the society as an adult. It hit me hard, but life was good as the child in me could not be suppressed and everything life hit me with I took it as a challenge. 

People saw me as a child, some me as a mature person and my kids saw me as their friends and elder sister the most. I had made lots of friends too... 

Memories of those days feels like as if I had it as a dream and not lived that life. If I try to recollect all those moments my eyes are filled with tears not because I hate my life no but those moments were too precious to be back again.  It was also the time where I felt beautiful, powerful and unstoppable. 

 And I hate it that some of those memories are fading because I have changed and even the characters and setting have grown and moved forward. 

I expect the same treatment, but I can`t seem to know what kind of reactions and response I should give. If I had an opportunity I would not go there now because it would break my heart even more... because nothing will be same as before. 

 

But I promise myself that I will definitely visit before I take my last breath and circumambulate 100 times around Chorten Kora and beg for forgiveness in DechenPhodrang Lhakhang for being so stupid.

And also see how my kids and those beautiful people are living their life.